Our Adoption Story

Shortly after Russ and I got married, we found out we were pregnant. We were so excited! Nine months later, our baby boy, Caden, was born. We were thrilled! Little did we know just how much of a miracle he was at that time. When Caden was a little over a year old, we got pregnant again. Once again, we were so excited. Our excitement came crashing down as I started bleeding and cramping, because we realized it was a miscarriage. It was really devastating and sad, but we knew it was normal to have miscarriages and hoped that the next pregnancy would turn out better. I ended up having a few more miscarriages after that one, and we consulted with an infertility specialist. After lots of testing, the specialist gave us the option of doing in-vitro or to continue trying on our own. Neither option sounded right, so we took our time to talk about it and pray about it. For months, we had no definite direction so we waited.

One night, as I was reading a blessing that was given to me when I was younger, I felt strongly that we needed to adopt. We had considered adoption before, but until then we hadn’t felt strongly impressed to adopt. However, that night, there wasn’t a doubt in our minds that we were supposed to adopt our next child. Russ and I talked about it, prayed about it, fasted about it and then talked about it when we went to the LDS temple. We both felt it was the right thing to do. We called and got in touch with LDS Family Services. We signed up for the orientation meeting and got started on all the paperwork. We were new to the adoption world and loved learning all the different perspectives and, ultimately, the great love that is involved by all parties. We were overwhelmed with love for the birth mom that spoke on the panel at our training and we knew that we wanted an open adoption. A few months later, we were approved and we held a “kick off” event to spread the word to all of our friends and family that we were hoping to adopt. We sent out emails and were constantly praying that we would come in contact with the birth mom that was looking for our family.

A little over a year later, we heard that there was a couple that was interested in placing their child for adoption with our family and we were so excited! We were able to meet them at a Colorado Rockies baseball game that Families Supporting Adoption hosted for a birth parent appreciation day. We weren’t sitting close to them, but we wanted to get to know them better. Thankfully there was a rain delay at the game, so we were able to talk to them more as we all huddled under the stadium roofs for over an hour. They were easy to talk to and we laughed together while Caden was jumping in the puddles. We heard about a month later that they had selected us to raise their baby boy. Words can’t express the joy, gratitude and love we felt for them. We met up with them a number of times before he was born and we loved talking to them. Between going out to dinners and playing XBOX Kinect with them, we developed a good friendship and it was so easy to be around them. 

When Chase’s birth mom was admitted to the hospital, we were there with them and were able to stay overnight while she was in labor. We probably should’ve tried to go to bed while we could, but we enjoyed talking with them so much that we all stayed up until 2:30AM.  After a few hours of sleep on the waiting room floor, we were awakened at 6:30 AM because Chase’s birth mom was about to deliver.  As we waited outside the labor and delivery room, we embraced each other in the hall with tears of love when we heard little Chase cry for the first time. We were able to have many visitors including some of the birth parent’s family members as well as some of our own family members.

Six months later, we finalized our adoption in court and were touched by the questions that the attorney asked about this being a “permanent adoption”. We were so happy that Chase would always be in our family! We had the privilege of being sealed to Chase in the LDS Denver temple on April 21, and Caden was able to come in to witness this special and sacred ceremony. Tears poured down our cheeks as we knew that he would be a part of our family forever. It was an incredibly sacred and joyful day!

 We have an open adoption and we get together with Chase’s birth parents for visits whenever we can. We talk on the phone and are friends on Facebook. It is truly a blessing to have them still involved in his life. We love any chance we have to see them and always leave with a heart full of love, joy and gratitude for them. We will always be forever grateful for their courage to place him for adoption with our family. We love Chase’s birth parents!

Media Monday: Once Upon a Baby

We found out about this great new book, "Once Upon a Baby" by Shari Guess, from the National FSA blog. It sounded so great and we wanted to read it! We are in charge of putting together the swag bags for the upcoming area conference for our Colorado chapter of Families Supporting Adoption, so we immediately contacted the author to get some things for the bags and the giveaway. We were so excited when it came in the mail and we could read it!

Here is her summary: A heartwarming tale of LDS Adoption. Follow a child's journey from the pre-existence to his family's home on Earth. The divine guidance of the Savior, along with the love and prayers of both birth and adoptive parents are gently and lovingly portrayed in this tender story of the ultimate "Happily ever after".

Our thoughts: We love the way that this book talks about adoption from a religious perspective. We love how it talks about all the prayers from both the birth and adoptive parents. We love how positively it talks about "tummy mommies" and how much they love their child. It is a very sweet story and we especially love how it talks about the family going to the temple to be sealed. Great book!

You can find out more about the book here at her site: http://www.onceuponababybook.com/

Media Monday: The R House, failed placement

We love reading the R House blog and hearing of her adoption expertise. We had the opportunity of hosting her when she came out here for an FSA conference. She recently experienced a failed placement. She wrote a very touching post the day after they found out the birth mom was going to parent instead of placing her baby for adoption. You can read that post here. So tender, sweet and powerful. I love how supportive she is of the birth mother and her decision, even though it was hard for the R family.

Two weeks after that, she wrote another post about how to survive a failed adoption. I love her optimism through the heart break. You can read it here.

These two posts are so powerful and tear jerking. What an incredible family!

Media Monday: American Idol, Creighton Frakes

I meant to post this last week when he was still on American Idol, but that didn't happen. I love watching American Idol and was surprised to hear that one of the contestants was adopted. I loved hearing his story of how he got to meet his birth father about 3 years ago and that he found out that he got his love of music from his birth father. It was also his birth father that encouraged him to try out for American Idol. I loved hearing that they have an open relationship now and his birth father even came out to support him as he was on the show. Such a great story!

You can see some of his videos here.

Media Monday: Birth father's thoughts about adoption

We came across this touching post from a birth father on the Birthmothers for Adoption blog (see link on the right side of our blog). A birth father shares his experience with adoption and his thoughts about placing, about adoptive couples, etc. You can read it here.

We love that he says "we are heroes to our child's adoptive parents". We could not agree more! We disagree with him when he says that pre-placement contact with birth parents and adoptive couples is "tedious and gut-wrenching". We know our son's birth parents looked forward to spending time with us and it reassured them to know the choice they were making was right. We loved getting to know them as much as we could since they were (and are) such a big part of our family now. We respect his understanding and sincerity of what the adoptive couple goes through (with the adoption and with infertility). Our favorite part is where it says "We, as Birthfathers, are the answer to our child’s adoptive parent’s prayers.We are the bright light piercing through the darkness that has become their lives."

Nothing could be truer than that!!

Media Monday: Birth Mom's decision to place

I love reading The R House blog. It is so inspiring, real and wonderful! A few days ago, a guest blogger birth mom posted her story on her decision to place her son for adoption (with Mrs. R and her hubby). It was written so beautifully. You can read it here.

I love how the emotions are so real, raw and beautiful. I love how she realizes that when she thinks about parenting, it is all about her and what she wants. However, when she thinks about (and decides on) placing him for adoption, it is all about her son. There isn't a greater love than to do something that is hard for ourselves in order to help those we love. Birth parents should forever be honored and praised for their courage to place their children for adoption. We, personally, have two amazing birth parents that we will forever respect, honor and love!

Overcome!

(the pic above was at the Denver Temple when Chase was about 1.5 months old)

It has been a REALLY long time since I have posted something. Sorry about that! We have been loving baby Chase and having fun with Caden. Today was a special day. I was able to call the Denver LDS Temple and schedule a time to be sealed to Chase (for more info on LDS temples or the sealing ordinance, see this link). This means that he will always be a part of our family, both in this life and after death. As I was talking thedule it, I was overcome with a flood of different emotions.

1. Gratitude - We feel eternally grateful for two very special people that were willing to place Chase for adoption with our family. Tears are welling up in my eyes when I think about them and what they have done. They were a huge answer to our prayers. We love them. We love having an open adoption where they can see Chase grow and he can know just how much they love him too. Caden continues to say thanks to God for A & J in every prayer. Words can't fully express the gratitude we feel for A & J!

2. Love - We love baby Chase so much!! He is a true angel in our home and he has already added so much to our family. It is fun to watch Caden grow and change into his role of big brother. He is learning how to put his needs aside to help his brother first. He LOVES to make him smile and laugh and I can tell they have a very special relationship. Russ's and my hearts swell with love and joy as we hold baby Chase, see him smile, hear him laugh, watch him sleep, etc. We truly do love him and Caden more than anything and would do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING we could to help them.

3. Joy - For 4 years, we struggled with infertility and miscarriages and the heart ache that comes with that. We loved Caden and gave thanks for him every day in our prayers, but we knew there was somebody else that needed to come to our family. After 6 miscarriages and 2 years of getting approved to adopt and searching for the right opportunity, we were able to be with A & J when Chase was born. The first time we heard him cry, we held each other as tears of joy came to our eyes. Chase is the special baby that was supposed to come to our family, in the time that he came, by those loving birth parents. It isn't a coincidence, it is a miracle. He adds so much joy, love and peace to our home. Our hearts are so happy.

4. Excitement - When we were getting approved to adopt, we talked with Caden about the whole process. We also shared with him that after we adopted, our whole family (including Caden) would be able to enter the LDS temple to have the baby sealed to us. We have been looking forward to it for a long time and now it is almost here (a little over two months)! It will be such a special, sacred event!

No post can be complete without a picture, so here are some recent pics of Caden and Chase (big brother and little brother).