Media Monday: American Idol, Creighton Frakes

I meant to post this last week when he was still on American Idol, but that didn't happen. I love watching American Idol and was surprised to hear that one of the contestants was adopted. I loved hearing his story of how he got to meet his birth father about 3 years ago and that he found out that he got his love of music from his birth father. It was also his birth father that encouraged him to try out for American Idol. I loved hearing that they have an open relationship now and his birth father even came out to support him as he was on the show. Such a great story!

You can see some of his videos here.

Media Monday: Birth father's thoughts about adoption

We came across this touching post from a birth father on the Birthmothers for Adoption blog (see link on the right side of our blog). A birth father shares his experience with adoption and his thoughts about placing, about adoptive couples, etc. You can read it here.

We love that he says "we are heroes to our child's adoptive parents". We could not agree more! We disagree with him when he says that pre-placement contact with birth parents and adoptive couples is "tedious and gut-wrenching". We know our son's birth parents looked forward to spending time with us and it reassured them to know the choice they were making was right. We loved getting to know them as much as we could since they were (and are) such a big part of our family now. We respect his understanding and sincerity of what the adoptive couple goes through (with the adoption and with infertility). Our favorite part is where it says "We, as Birthfathers, are the answer to our child’s adoptive parent’s prayers.We are the bright light piercing through the darkness that has become their lives."

Nothing could be truer than that!!

Media Monday: Birth Mom's decision to place

I love reading The R House blog. It is so inspiring, real and wonderful! A few days ago, a guest blogger birth mom posted her story on her decision to place her son for adoption (with Mrs. R and her hubby). It was written so beautifully. You can read it here.

I love how the emotions are so real, raw and beautiful. I love how she realizes that when she thinks about parenting, it is all about her and what she wants. However, when she thinks about (and decides on) placing him for adoption, it is all about her son. There isn't a greater love than to do something that is hard for ourselves in order to help those we love. Birth parents should forever be honored and praised for their courage to place their children for adoption. We, personally, have two amazing birth parents that we will forever respect, honor and love!

Overcome!

(the pic above was at the Denver Temple when Chase was about 1.5 months old)

It has been a REALLY long time since I have posted something. Sorry about that! We have been loving baby Chase and having fun with Caden. Today was a special day. I was able to call the Denver LDS Temple and schedule a time to be sealed to Chase (for more info on LDS temples or the sealing ordinance, see this link). This means that he will always be a part of our family, both in this life and after death. As I was talking thedule it, I was overcome with a flood of different emotions.

1. Gratitude - We feel eternally grateful for two very special people that were willing to place Chase for adoption with our family. Tears are welling up in my eyes when I think about them and what they have done. They were a huge answer to our prayers. We love them. We love having an open adoption where they can see Chase grow and he can know just how much they love him too. Caden continues to say thanks to God for A & J in every prayer. Words can't fully express the gratitude we feel for A & J!

2. Love - We love baby Chase so much!! He is a true angel in our home and he has already added so much to our family. It is fun to watch Caden grow and change into his role of big brother. He is learning how to put his needs aside to help his brother first. He LOVES to make him smile and laugh and I can tell they have a very special relationship. Russ's and my hearts swell with love and joy as we hold baby Chase, see him smile, hear him laugh, watch him sleep, etc. We truly do love him and Caden more than anything and would do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING we could to help them.

3. Joy - For 4 years, we struggled with infertility and miscarriages and the heart ache that comes with that. We loved Caden and gave thanks for him every day in our prayers, but we knew there was somebody else that needed to come to our family. After 6 miscarriages and 2 years of getting approved to adopt and searching for the right opportunity, we were able to be with A & J when Chase was born. The first time we heard him cry, we held each other as tears of joy came to our eyes. Chase is the special baby that was supposed to come to our family, in the time that he came, by those loving birth parents. It isn't a coincidence, it is a miracle. He adds so much joy, love and peace to our home. Our hearts are so happy.

4. Excitement - When we were getting approved to adopt, we talked with Caden about the whole process. We also shared with him that after we adopted, our whole family (including Caden) would be able to enter the LDS temple to have the baby sealed to us. We have been looking forward to it for a long time and now it is almost here (a little over two months)! It will be such a special, sacred event!

No post can be complete without a picture, so here are some recent pics of Caden and Chase (big brother and little brother).

Media Monday: Flora's Family

Flora's Family by Annette Aubrey

We gave it 4.5 out of 5 stars

Here is a summary from Adoptive Families

Flora is a little girl, living happily with her family. One evening after bathtime, Flora notices that she doesn’t look much like her mom. Her long, flowing black hair doesn’t match her mother’s short, blonde bob. She doesn’t have her mom’s freckles either. Flora needs answers. So Mom and Dad tell her the story of how and why they adopted her.

Flora’s Family is a sweet and sensitively told, rhythmic tale. Author Annette Aubrey explores the common questions that young children have about their adoption. She goes one step further, reassuring Flora that her questions are welcome and will always be answered by her loving family. The book is illustrated by Patrice Barton, whose soft watercolors depict the contentment of Flora’s family life.

The final page of Flora’s Family offers suggestions that parents and teachers can use to answer questions and encourage meaningful discussion about adoption. For parents who want to begin a dialogue with their child, but are unsure of where to start, these talking points are a godsend.

Our Thoughts: We love how open they are in talking to their child about adoption. We especially like how both parents are involved in answering the questions the daughter has about being adopted. We love how it talks so positively about birth parents! We love that it is a family similar to ours, because they have biological children too. We love that it shows how the biological children love and adore their baby sister, because Caden is so excited to be a big brother. He ADORES Chase and they are such good buddies.

Media Monday (a day late): Mom reunites with biological child 77 years later

I was all set to write this entry yesterday and then our internet was having problems! Bummer! Russ came to the rescue when he got home at night, and now I am able to post this!

My friend from the Colorado chapter of Families Supporting Adoption found an incredible article about adoption and posted it on the blog. It is about a reunion of an adoptee and her birth mom. It is a very touching article. You can read it here: http://www.ksl.com/?nid=157&sid=18711325

Our thoughts: We love how it shows the great love that birth moms have for the babies that they place for adoption. Sometimes there is a misconception that birth moms do not love their babies and are just placing them for adoption to get on with their lives. NOTHING could be farther from the truth!! It is because birth moms love their babies so much that they are willing to suffer themselves to be able to give their babies more. We also loved the joy that their relationship brought to them. Open adoption really is about having more love and joy for all those involved. Very amazing article!

Media Monday: God Found us You

God Found us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren

We give it 4.5 out of 5 stars!

Here is a summary from Christianbook.com:
When a little fox cub climbs into bed, he asks his mom about how he came to live with her. As she tucks him in, she tells the miraculous story of his arrival---and assures him that he made her "the happiest mama in the world." A tenderly told tale that captures the blessings of adoption.

Our Thoughts: We love the tender, open, loving conversation they have about adoption. We also love that it talks about how they had to wait. We love that it is based on faith and the belief that "God found us you". It says "I trusted that God knew you, and knew me, and knew when we'd fit perfectly together". That is such a sweet and true statement! We love how Mama talks positively about the birth mom, saying how the birth mom must have prayed a lot. We love that it says that the adoptive parents prayed for the birth mom as well. In an adoption talk we watched from the Families Supporting Adoption International Conference, it said that adoptive families and birth families are swapping prayers. What a great blessing adoption is! We pray for the birth parents and they pray to find the right family for their child. God answers both the prayers and connects the two couples to each other. Once again, the only thing we would change is to add the father to the story.

Media Monday: Families Supporting Adoption fireside

In honor of National Adoption Awareness month, Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) hosted a special fireside to celebrate adoption! We had three speakers, and a special musical number with a slide show. The whole night was great!!

(For a few highlights from last year's fireside, check out this post)

The first speaker was a friend of ours that was adopted when she was a baby. She shared a great quote that said something like "in the end, love was stronger than blood". She talked about how grateful she was to her birth mom (who she has never met and knows very little about) because she gave her a chance to be raised in the family she was supposed to be in. She also talked about when her parents adopted both of her younger sisters and how she "instantly" loved them so much. Love isn't limited to a blood relation, but for those that are willing to open their hearts, it can be shared with anyone. This is especially true for adoption.

The second speaker was a birth mom that placed her baby with our friends. She was so honest and open about the highs and lows of placing a baby for adoption. We loved that she was so full of love, not just for her baby, but also for the adoptive parents. She talked about how she knew when she saw the adoptive couple that they were the parents for her child. She was so selfless during labor, because she wanted to let the adoptive mom experience the birth of a child. She was an amazing, fun and loving woman!

The third speaker was our friend that adopted the baby placed by the second speaker. It was so awesome to hear both sides of the story. We were very touched by the love that the birth parents and adoptive couple had for each other, and we loved that they gave each other a huge hug after they spoke. She was so sincere about the struggles of infertility and coming to grips with adoption for their family. She was so emotional when she talked about her open relationship with the birth mom and her love for her boy.

The special musical number was "Something Perfect" by Michael McLean. Our friend did a great job singing! The lyrics are so awesome and very applicable to adoption. There was a slide show during the song with pics of adoptive couples in the area, birth parents, kids and activities from FSA.

The whole night was amazing! It was so great to celebrate adoption and the way that it blesses the lives of all those involved!

Media Monday: A Beautiful Disaster

I came across this wonderful blog post, which is a letter from a birth mom written to her daughter. It is so sincere, honest and beautiful. I just loved it!

Here is the link: http://missmandapassarelli.blogspot.com/2011/11/dear-hannah-letter-from-your-birth.html

Here are a few of our favorite quotes:
"I gave you a better life then I could have given you at the time. I gave you two wonderful parents and a big sister to take care of you. I gave you happiness and the opportunity to excel and follow your dreams."

"But I am so glad we have this beautiful thing together. Its like our two families have become one. A very unique and special one. It is so wonderful that your parents let this be so open and honest."

"So again Hannah, I LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOU. Please do not ever forget that. Placing you for adoption wasn't easy, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it was the best thing I ever did for you. You mean the world to me, beautiful."

Our Thoughts: This letter is so sweet! We love so much about it. We love that Amanda (the birth mom) is so honest that placing her daughter for adoption was the hardest thing, but also the best thing. We love that she has an open relationship with the adoptive couple. We love how it says that their two families have become one. Chase's birth parents (J and A) will forever be a part of our family because we share something so unique, precious and beautiful. This letter from the birth parent is a must read!

Tender feelings!

We are LOVING having sweet Chase in our family. Caden almost always says this in his prayers: "We thank thee we have Chase, Mommy and Daddy in our family". He could not be more proud of his baby brother. He tells EVERYONE we pass in the store that we have a new baby. He is constantly checking on him, giving him a stuffed animal, making faces at Chase to get him to smile, etc. It is the sweetest thing I have ever seen. It makes my heart so happy and full of gratitude when I watch them together.

The other day when I was walking Caden to school and pushing Chase in the stroller, Caden said "I can't wait until we have another baby!" I was completely shocked (since Chase is just over a month) and asked him why. He said "I love babies". He is the best big brother EVER!!

Today, we took Chase to church for the first time. He looked so handsome in his white button up shirt and khakis! In choir practice, we were practicing "Silent Night". I barely got through the first lyrics before the power of those words hit me and made me want to cry. I was rocking Chase in the car seat with my foot and looking at him while I tried to sing:

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin, mother and child
Holy infant, so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace.

These are some special days always to be cherished. We always give thanks in our prayers to two very special people that made it all possible. We just had them over on Friday night and we were playing the Kinect. After awhile, Caden said "I know. This is family game night!". It warmed my heart to think that yes, this was family game night because J and A are (and always will be) a part of our family now. What a blessing!

Media Monday (or Wednesday): Conversations at the Park

Sorry this post is late! We have been loving on Chase and not getting as many other things done as we used to.

Sometimes our interactions with others are the best media available. We had a great experience with the power of open adoption recently.

Last Saturday, we went to the park with Chase's birth parents to get pictures done with them. We had a great time seeing them (as always) and Caden loved playing at the park. One sweet older lady started talking to us, trying to guess who Chase's parents were. We told her that we adopted him and that A and J were the birth parents. She started talking about how neat that was that we were still in contact with each other. She said "I hope you know how special this is to me". "That makes me want to cry. That is just so special".

She meant every word of it. We reassured her it was even more special to us! We LOVE open adoption and the way that it allows more people to love, hold, kiss and be with a very special baby. We have already seen the blessings of open adoption and are excited to continue seeing those blessings for years to come with A and J.

Media Monday: My Adopted Child, There's No One Like You

My Adopted Child, There's No One Like You by Kevin Leman & Kevin Leman II

We gave it 4 out of 5 stars

Here is a summary from Christianbook.com
This delightful story, filled with colorful illustrations, is designed to be read by parents and their adopted children with one goal in mind: to show them just how special and loved they are. Your child will realize that while your family is "different," it is a family built on love both from the birth mother who gave them up for adoption and the adoptive family who chose them. Perfect for children ages 3 and up.

Our Thoughts: It seems like this was the first discussion that they had about adoption, but we would rather have our child know about adoption as early as possible. We love that Mama Bear in this story welcomed any questions he had and was willing to give him information about who he was. We are going to create an environment for our child to feel willing to ask any questions they have and to celebrate who they are! Our favorite part is how it talks so positively about birth parents. She talks about how smart and loving the birth parents are. She then says, "That's adoption honeybear. It's the most loving thing someone can do." Such a sweet, simple and incredibly true statement!

Big news!

Here are two (of many) of Caden's versions of our big news:
And here is our version of our big news:These are our dear friends that we have grown to know and love these past few months that made everything possible. They are so much fun to hang out with, play Kinect with, talk with, etc. We even played hackey sack and Phase 10 while J was in labor! We have loved getting to know them and we look forward to a long friendship and open adoption with them.
I love this pic of Caden meeting his new little brother, my Mom holding him and J looking on as proud as can be. Introducing....Chase Adam! He was born on September 26th at 7:36 AM. He weighed 6 lbs 12 ounces and was 20 inches long! We feel so blessed and we love the miracle of adoption! We love, and are so grateful, for J and A for trusting us with their sweet little boy.

Media Monday: I Wished for You

I Wished for You: an Adoption Story by Marianne Richmond

We give it 4.5 out of 5 stars

Here is a summary from Good Reads:
I Wished for You: an adoption story follows a conversation between Barley Bear and his Mama as they curl up in their favorite cuddle spot and discuss how they became a family. Barley asks Mama the questions many adopted children have, and Mama lovingly answers them all.

Our Thoughts: We love how the mother tells how much she wished for and was excited for Barley Bear. It conveys the love and the special relationship that they have. We also love how open the conversation is about adoption. We love that it shows the birth parents made the decision to place their baby for adoption out of pure love and wanting what was best for the baby. We love how it points out that God picked Barley for Mama bear. She even points out that some families look alike and others don't, but 'what makes a family is their love for each other'. There is no father mentioned, which is the only thing we would change about this book.

Media Monday: I Love You Like Crazy Cakes

I Love You Like Crazy Cakes by Rose Lewis

We give it 4 out of 5 stars

(side note: This is the first kid's adoption book I ever read. My friend's daughter checked it out at the school library and she shared it with me because it was about adoption. The first time I read it, I teared up. Such a sweet story)

Here is a summary from Good Reads:
This story of a woman who travels to China to adopt a baby girl, based on the author's own experiences, is a celebration of the love and joy a baby brings into the home.

Our Thoughts: This was one of the first adoption kids books we read and we loved it. We loved that the mom was able to comfort the baby that she adopted and that the baby recognized her as mom. It says that she would cry when other people held her and calm down when her mother held her. This means a lot to us. We know that the baby we adopt will be able to recognize us as his/her parents and we will be able to comfort him/her when sad. We love how it says "How did someone make this perfect match a world away?" We love that God is in control and He knows how to match birth parents and adoptive couples together. We love that there were so many family members that were there to welcome her home and to give her more love. It also talks about honoring birth parents "I wanted her to know that we would always remember her". Every birth parent should be honored and remembered! The one thing we don't like is that there is never a father mentioned, which is sad because a father is a HUGE part of a family!

Media Monday: Every Year on Your Birthday

Every Year on Your Birthday by Rose Lewis

We give this a 4 out of 5 stars

Here is a summary from ChildBook.com:
The heartfelt story of one woman's adoption of a baby girl from China.

These sentiments are brought to life again in this touching portrait of birthday celebrations and unforgettable moments between a mother and her little girl: from joyous hugs for a new puppy, to quiet nights gazing at the stars remembering a faraway family.

Our Thoughts: We love that the family embraces the Chinese culture of the daughter they adopted by going to dragon boat festivals, celebrating Chinese New Year, etc. We especially love how every year on her birthday, they remember and honor the birth parents. Here is a great quote: "Every year on your birthday, we look up at the stars and remember your Chinese family. They are a part of our family now, and I hope somehow they feel the magic of your love too." We are hoping to make the birth parents a part of our family too and really loving and honoring them, not only on every birthday of the child we adopt, but everyday for the miracle they bring to our lives.

FSA Birth Parent Appreciation Day and Rockies Game!

We had a great Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) activity where we got to honor and celebrate birth parents! We all went to the Rockies game and wore our matching shirts from the 5K in May. We were able to meet and talk with so many great birth parents, and spend time with our friends from FSA. There was a huge rain storm that came through, so during the 1+ hour rain delay, we talked to everyone from the group.


Caden got to play kickball on the field with Dingger! So awesome!! (Clearly from the video, he didn't really know the rules of kickball, but he still had fun!)
Caden was so excited to catch a ball and he wore his mitt for most of the game. He never caught a fly ball, but he had a blast. He loved splashing in the puddles during the rain delay. He was such a good sport, even though it was a REALLY late night!
We loved this activity and look forward to repeating it every year here in Colorado! This will be easy to do since our adoption supervisor, Kelly (on the left with his rally cap on) is a HUGE Rockies fan! Here he is doing the macarena! We love Kelly!

Media Monday: Bryan Kehl's Big Family and the Blessings of Adoption

Russ found this article on adoption the other day. I was so proud of him! Really it is because he LOVES BYU sports (Bryan Kehl used to play football for BYU) and found it on a BYU sports website. :) Either way, I loved reading it. Here is a link to the whole article that was in the Mormon Times on June 16, 2011. http://www.mormontimes.com/article/21206/Bryan-Kehls-big-family-and-the-blessings-of-adoption#

Our Thoughts: First off, it drives me nuts when people say they "gave up their baby for adoption". Birth parents are not giving their babies up! They are placing them for adoption, because they want them to have things that they can't offer at that specific time in life. We love that his mom helped him find his biological father! It is natural to be curious about where you came from, and we love that they embraced his curiosity and helped him to find his biological father! We love how the biological grandfather gave him a kiss and a blessing before she placed him for adoption. What a touching experience and a great article!

Happy Birth Mother's Day!

Sorry this post is a day late. We overbooked ourselves yesterday and weren't able to do everything we wanted to. This was one of those things that fell by the wayside, unfortunately.

Whether or not birth mothers want to celebrate on birth mother's day, on mother's day or on another day, they need a day to be honored and celebrated! (or every day, as it should be) Due to amazing birth mothers, many of our friends now have the opportunity to care for and raise children.

Here are some words that come to mind when we think of birth mothers:

• Loving
• Selfless
• Brave
• Angels
• Amazing
• Mature
• Courageous
• And many more

During a Young Womens lesson on adoption, I was asked to share some thoughts. I instantly started talking about how amazing birth mothers are and the way that they truly become angels by providing something for a family that they can't do for themselves. I got emotional as I talked about how incredible, selfless and loving all birth moms are. We truly have a special place in our heart for the amazing birth moms that we have met, as well as all others! Thanks for your great sacrifice and love! We honor you today and always!

One Year

A year ago today, we celebrated that we were officially approved to adopt. Today, we celebrated again. We went to Red Robin as a family and enjoyed dinner and a Rookie Magic. As we ate, we reflected on the past year of being approved for adoption and things we have accomplished.

Here is a list of things related to adoption that we have done:
-Held an adoption kick-off open house
-Realized just how incredible open adoption is, and how we wouldn't want it any other way
-Play group coordinators for the CO chapter of Families Supporting Adoption (FSA)
-Accepted the opportunity to serve as the co-chairs for the CO chapter of FSA
-Accepted the opportunity to serve as the chairs for the CO chapter of FSA
-Participated in the Wheatridge Parade as FSA
-Carried our adoption pass along cards to our local high school counselors
-Organized the 2nd annual all day FSA Area Conference
-Updated our adoption blog regularly
-Helped to carry out an adoption fireside (and attended another one)
-Helped with an FSA Christmas party
-Communicated with two adoption scammers from "Cameroon"

Here is a list of fun things we did as a family:
-Explored the Black Canyon of the Gunnison while camping
-Went to Elitch Gardens as a family with Kylee's sister and her husband
-Enjoyed having almost all of Russ' family together in Denver for about a week
-Planned a birthday party to celebrate Caden turning 4
-Went camping with friends at our annual Labor Day campout
-Celebrated our 5 year anniversary
-Russ went to Wood Badge training while Caden and Kylee camped in the family room
-Kylee went to Girl's Camp with the youth of our area
-We held our 6th annual Halloween Mystery Dinner
-For Christmas, Russ' parents surprised us with a trip to Disneyworld
-We drove to UT to surprise Kylee's parents when they got off their mission to South Africa
-We entertained Kylee's parents that came to stay with us for a week
-Attended the BYU v. Air Force Football game
-Kylee donated 10 inches of her hair to Locks of Love
-Russ' brother started his 2 year mission for our church to Roseville, CA
-Had a very fun April Fool's Day

In the coming year, we are looking forward to:
-Running our first 5K as a family (in the FSA 5K)
-Going on our first family backpacking trip
-More contact with birth parents
-Open adoption and forming long-term relationships with birth parents and their families
-Going to Disney World with (almost) all of Russ' family
-Welcoming Russ' brother Mike back home from a 2 year mission for the church in the Dominican Republic
-Having a family reunion on the Oregon coast with all of Kylee's family
-Caden starting Kindergarten! We can't believe it!