Media Monday: Flora's Family

Flora's Family by Annette Aubrey

We gave it 4.5 out of 5 stars

Here is a summary from Adoptive Families

Flora is a little girl, living happily with her family. One evening after bathtime, Flora notices that she doesn’t look much like her mom. Her long, flowing black hair doesn’t match her mother’s short, blonde bob. She doesn’t have her mom’s freckles either. Flora needs answers. So Mom and Dad tell her the story of how and why they adopted her.

Flora’s Family is a sweet and sensitively told, rhythmic tale. Author Annette Aubrey explores the common questions that young children have about their adoption. She goes one step further, reassuring Flora that her questions are welcome and will always be answered by her loving family. The book is illustrated by Patrice Barton, whose soft watercolors depict the contentment of Flora’s family life.

The final page of Flora’s Family offers suggestions that parents and teachers can use to answer questions and encourage meaningful discussion about adoption. For parents who want to begin a dialogue with their child, but are unsure of where to start, these talking points are a godsend.

Our Thoughts: We love how open they are in talking to their child about adoption. We especially like how both parents are involved in answering the questions the daughter has about being adopted. We love how it talks so positively about birth parents! We love that it is a family similar to ours, because they have biological children too. We love that it shows how the biological children love and adore their baby sister, because Caden is so excited to be a big brother. He ADORES Chase and they are such good buddies.

Media Monday: We Belong Together: A Book about Adoption and Families

We Belong Together: A Book about Adoption and Families by Todd Parr

We give it 4 out of 5 stars.

You can read it here on Google Books.

Here is a summary from Good Reads:
In a kid-friendly, accessible way, this book explores the ways that people can choose to come together to make a family. It's about sharing your home and sharing your heart to make a family that belongs together.

Our Thoughts: This book is a very simple description of adoption. It would be easy to read, especially to a younger child. It has bright pictures and only a few words per page, so it would keep their interest well. The use of different colors for kids shows racial adoption well. This book includes mothers and fathers, which we love.

Media Monday: God Found us You

God Found us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren

We give it 4.5 out of 5 stars!

Here is a summary from Christianbook.com:
When a little fox cub climbs into bed, he asks his mom about how he came to live with her. As she tucks him in, she tells the miraculous story of his arrival---and assures him that he made her "the happiest mama in the world." A tenderly told tale that captures the blessings of adoption.

Our Thoughts: We love the tender, open, loving conversation they have about adoption. We also love that it talks about how they had to wait. We love that it is based on faith and the belief that "God found us you". It says "I trusted that God knew you, and knew me, and knew when we'd fit perfectly together". That is such a sweet and true statement! We love how Mama talks positively about the birth mom, saying how the birth mom must have prayed a lot. We love that it says that the adoptive parents prayed for the birth mom as well. In an adoption talk we watched from the Families Supporting Adoption International Conference, it said that adoptive families and birth families are swapping prayers. What a great blessing adoption is! We pray for the birth parents and they pray to find the right family for their child. God answers both the prayers and connects the two couples to each other. Once again, the only thing we would change is to add the father to the story.

Media Monday: The Red Blanket

The Red Blanket by Eliza Thomas.

We gave it 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Here is a summary from Adoptive Families:
Children adopted anywhere will cuddle up to this story of a little girl, a loving single mom, and the cozy blanket that eased their transition from strangers to family.

The story of PanPan’s adoption is told from her mother’s perspective. As she explains her desire for a child, her sadness is palpable, but there’s no self-pity. Adoption can solve this problem, so Thomas gets down to work. When she receives her referral for PanPan, she buys all the usual baby gear plus a soft red blanket, perfect for cuddling. Into the suitcase it goes, and Thomas heads for China.

At the orphanage, deliriously happy with her new baby in her arms, Thomas notices that PanPan won’t meet her gaze. Building attachment will take time and effort, consistency, faith, and patience. In their hotel room, Thomas talks encouragingly about their new life together, but she recalls, “you weren’t listening. Instead, you looked around the room at the chair, the bed, the bureau….You looked everywhere but at me.”

After a day of rejection, Thomas remembers the red blanket tucked away in her suitcase and cuddles her daughter in it. At last, with PanPan snuggled in the warm folds of that soft blanket, the two begin to bond.

Our Thoughts: This book is about international adoption and does a good job of relating to what the mom and the child are feeling. There is no father present in the story, which is sad. We love the idea of having a special blanket for the child to hold and cherish.

Media Monday: Max and the Adoption Day Party

Max and the Adoption Day Party by Adria F. Klein

We gave it 4 out of 5 stars.

You can read it on Google Books.

Here is a brief summary from Good Reads:
It is Maxs friend Josés adoption day party. There is cake and ice cream, games, and presents. What special present did Max bring?

Our Thoughts: This book also comes in Spanish! We have read it in both languages, since Caden is bi-lingual. We love that this is also an easy reader, that Caden can read all by himself! We LOVE the idea of an adoption day party! There is nothing better for a kid to celebrate with a party, and this helps his friends and family celebrate the miracle of adoption with him. We are definitely going to do this!

Media Monday: My Adopted Child, There's No One Like You

My Adopted Child, There's No One Like You by Kevin Leman & Kevin Leman II

We gave it 4 out of 5 stars

Here is a summary from Christianbook.com
This delightful story, filled with colorful illustrations, is designed to be read by parents and their adopted children with one goal in mind: to show them just how special and loved they are. Your child will realize that while your family is "different," it is a family built on love both from the birth mother who gave them up for adoption and the adoptive family who chose them. Perfect for children ages 3 and up.

Our Thoughts: It seems like this was the first discussion that they had about adoption, but we would rather have our child know about adoption as early as possible. We love that Mama Bear in this story welcomed any questions he had and was willing to give him information about who he was. We are going to create an environment for our child to feel willing to ask any questions they have and to celebrate who they are! Our favorite part is how it talks so positively about birth parents. She talks about how smart and loving the birth parents are. She then says, "That's adoption honeybear. It's the most loving thing someone can do." Such a sweet, simple and incredibly true statement!

Media Monday: You're Not My REAL Mother

You're Not My REAL Mother by Molly Friedrich

We give this 4.5 out of 5 stars!

Here is a summary from Good Reads:
What are some of the qualities of a real mother? She's nurturing--she'll let you put twenty Band-Aids on a bruised knee when you only need one; she's dedicated--she'll drive miles out of her way to retrieve your beloved bear left behind; she's playful--she catches fireflies with you after bedtime . . . and much, much more. Drawn from the author's everyday life as an adoptive parent, this cheerful yet tender parent-child conversation offers a response to children who've ever asked an adoptive parent why they don't look like one another. Gentle, lighthearted watercolors by Christy Hale complete the picture of a very special relationship. Here is an invaluable companion for adopted children--and the adults who love them--as they explore the emotional realities of a different kind of family.

Our Thoughts: We love how it points out that looking alike isn't what families/mothers are all about. A true mother is there to care for, help, teach, love, raise a child and so much more! We love that the daughter realizes for herself what makes her mother her mother, even when she doesn't look like her. The only thing we would change is to add the father into the story and to have it be an open adoption, where the child can see/know their birth parents. It is a very cute and fun story to read.

Media Monday: My Family is Forever

My Family is Forever by Nancy Carlson

We give it 4 out of 5 stars.

Here is a summary from Good Reads:
Some families look alike, and some don't. Some families are formed by birth, and some families are formed by adoption. But being part of a family isn't about who you look like or even where you were born it s about the special love that binds you together forever.

Our Thoughts: We love the name of this book! The drawings are not our favorite, but the message is great. We love how confident this girl is about being adopted and how open her parents are in telling her about it. We love that it has a father and that it shows things that both the father and mother do with her. We love that she finds things that she does that are like her parents. She also wonders about her birth parents and if they look like her or read like her. We are hoping for an open adoption where the child would know their birth parents and know how they look like them. We love that families are forever!

Media Monday: I Wished for You

I Wished for You: an Adoption Story by Marianne Richmond

We give it 4.5 out of 5 stars

Here is a summary from Good Reads:
I Wished for You: an adoption story follows a conversation between Barley Bear and his Mama as they curl up in their favorite cuddle spot and discuss how they became a family. Barley asks Mama the questions many adopted children have, and Mama lovingly answers them all.

Our Thoughts: We love how the mother tells how much she wished for and was excited for Barley Bear. It conveys the love and the special relationship that they have. We also love how open the conversation is about adoption. We love that it shows the birth parents made the decision to place their baby for adoption out of pure love and wanting what was best for the baby. We love how it points out that God picked Barley for Mama bear. She even points out that some families look alike and others don't, but 'what makes a family is their love for each other'. There is no father mentioned, which is the only thing we would change about this book.

Media Monday: I Love You Like Crazy Cakes

I Love You Like Crazy Cakes by Rose Lewis

We give it 4 out of 5 stars

(side note: This is the first kid's adoption book I ever read. My friend's daughter checked it out at the school library and she shared it with me because it was about adoption. The first time I read it, I teared up. Such a sweet story)

Here is a summary from Good Reads:
This story of a woman who travels to China to adopt a baby girl, based on the author's own experiences, is a celebration of the love and joy a baby brings into the home.

Our Thoughts: This was one of the first adoption kids books we read and we loved it. We loved that the mom was able to comfort the baby that she adopted and that the baby recognized her as mom. It says that she would cry when other people held her and calm down when her mother held her. This means a lot to us. We know that the baby we adopt will be able to recognize us as his/her parents and we will be able to comfort him/her when sad. We love how it says "How did someone make this perfect match a world away?" We love that God is in control and He knows how to match birth parents and adoptive couples together. We love that there were so many family members that were there to welcome her home and to give her more love. It also talks about honoring birth parents "I wanted her to know that we would always remember her". Every birth parent should be honored and remembered! The one thing we don't like is that there is never a father mentioned, which is sad because a father is a HUGE part of a family!

Media Monday: Every Year on Your Birthday

Every Year on Your Birthday by Rose Lewis

We give this a 4 out of 5 stars

Here is a summary from ChildBook.com:
The heartfelt story of one woman's adoption of a baby girl from China.

These sentiments are brought to life again in this touching portrait of birthday celebrations and unforgettable moments between a mother and her little girl: from joyous hugs for a new puppy, to quiet nights gazing at the stars remembering a faraway family.

Our Thoughts: We love that the family embraces the Chinese culture of the daughter they adopted by going to dragon boat festivals, celebrating Chinese New Year, etc. We especially love how every year on her birthday, they remember and honor the birth parents. Here is a great quote: "Every year on your birthday, we look up at the stars and remember your Chinese family. They are a part of our family now, and I hope somehow they feel the magic of your love too." We are hoping to make the birth parents a part of our family too and really loving and honoring them, not only on every birthday of the child we adopt, but everyday for the miracle they bring to our lives.

Media Monday: Rebecca's Journey Home

Rebecca's Journey Home by Brynn Olenberg Sugarman

We gave it a 4 out of 5 stars.

Here is a summary from Kiwi Magazine Online:
This book is a lovely story of the blending of a Jewish family and their traditions with a newly adopted daughter (and sister) from Vietnam. The family’s excitement and anticipation about their new member is told warmly and genuinely by the author who adopted her daughter Rachele from Vietnam.

Our Thoughts: We loved how excited the boys were to adopt, and how the parents included them in the adoption process. We loved how much it showed their religion and the way their synagogue (church) helped them out. Religion is a central part of our family and it gives us strength, hope and joy. It is also a huge support system of friends that are excited for us to adopt. We love how the family embraced the culture and heritage of the daughter they adopted.

Media Monday: Star of the Week

Star of the Week by Darlene Friedman

We give it 4 out of 5 stars.

You can read it here on Google Books.

Here is a summary from the book flap:
"It's Cassidy-Li's turn to be Star of the Week at school! So she's making brownies and collecting photos for her poster. She has pictures of all the important people in her life - with one big exception. Cassidy-Li, adopted from China when she was a baby, doesn't have a photo of her birthparents. But with a little help from her family, she comes up with the perfect way to include them!"

Our thoughts: We love that Cassidy-Li includes her birth family on her poster. That is a big part of who she is and it should be celebrated. In the book it states that she is a little worried about what questions her peers will ask, etc. We think that is a normal concern, but the class responded well to it. We were sad that it was a closed adoption and that she didn't have any pictures of her birth parents. She decided to draw a picture of them instead. We are hoping for an open adoption so that the child can have a relationship with their birth parents, and continue to celebrate and honor them forever!

Media Monday: Porcupette Finds a Family

Porcupette Finds a Family by Vanita Oelschlager

We give it 3.5 out of 5 stars

Here is a summary from Picture Book Depot:

"In Porcupette Finds a Family, Oeschlager tackles the tragedy of suddenly losing a parent and going straightway into a foster home. The story is told by little Porcupette (the proper name for a baby porcupine), who gives a first-person account of his early life with his loving porcupine mother. His mother dotes on him and teaches him many things, but one day she leaves their home of rocks to find food, and something goes terribly wrong. Poor Porcupette waits and waits but his mother never returns, so he wanders out into the snow and cold to search for her. He never discovers what happened to her, but he does stumble upon a mother bear sleeping peacefully beside her two bear cubs.

Scared, hungry and tired beyond words, Porcupette walks right into their cave, snuggles next to the cubs for warmth, and begins to drink milk from Mother Bear. To his surprise, Mother Bear and the babies accept him, and suddenly, Porcupette has a new family.

But like any child who has been uprooted from what he knows and thrust into a new environment, Porcupette has a new fear: How long will this new family last? Things seem fine on the surface, but what if Mother Bear suddenly remembers he’s not really her child? And what if the entire family suddenly disappears on him, like his own mother did?"

Our thoughts: This book did a great job of describing the feelings of a foster care situation or an adoption with an older child. It talks about how the porcupine sticks out his quills when they are afraid, as is common in these situations. They were very vivid and sad descriptions of how these children feel and react to things. In the end, the Mother Bear comes to find Porcupette and he realizes that she does love him. We are hoping for infant adoption, but this book was good to read so that we could understand more of the feelings/reactions of kids in that situation.

Media Monday: The White Swan Express

The White Swan Express by Jean Davies Okimoto

We gave this book 2.5 out of 5 stars.

You can read it here on Google Books.

Here is a summary from the book flap: In China, the moon shines on four baby girls fast asleep in an orphanage. Far away in North America, the sun rises over four homes as the people inside get ready to start a long, exciting journey. With tenderness and humor, this lyrical story tells how they are all brought together, and how they become four happy families on one very special day.

First of all, there were way too many words on the page to keep a child's interest. We liked that the author did a good job describing all the emotions and feelings that these four different couples had. This wasn't a very interesting book, even for us to read. We aren't doing international adoption for now, so I think many of the experiences don't necessarily apply directly to us.

In the family

My sister and her husband were recently approved to adopt through LDS Family Services as well! It is fun to experience the adoption process and the wonderful world of adoption with my sister! It is fun to think that when we adopt, he/she will have cousins that are also adopted. What a blessing!

My sister spoiled me rotten when I was younger and we have always had a special relationship. She married an incredible husband that LOVES kids! He will be a great father sometime soon. They love to travel and love to spend time together hiking near their house, skiing, etc. They have a dog, Nutmeg, that all my nieces/nephews adore. They are a very talented, fun-loving couple and we think the world of them.

Check out their awesome profile here: https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/25589617/ourMessage.jsf

The pic below is from a cruise that we went on with Russ' family. Last minute, Erika and Jared decided to join us! Russ' parents were so excited to have them there and we loved hanging out with them. They even joined us for a fun stop in Puerto Rico, where we drove past the last area I served in as a missionary!

Media Monday: Over the Moon: An Adoption Tale

Over the Moon: An Adoption Tale by Karen Katz

We give this a 3 out of 5 stars.

You can read it here on Google Books.

Here is a summary from The Reading Tub:
"Two parents dream about a baby, and the next night, they receive a call that their baby had been born. They flew to a faraway place to meet their baby girl and bring her home. Together, that first day, they celebrated being a family. For families who have traveled to beyond their home to adopt a child, this story puts it all together nicely."

We like that the husband and the wife dreamed of the child they were going to adopt. Both Russ and I are equally invested in adopting our child and we think/dream of it often. We like that so many of their neighbors and friends knew they were going to adopt and were asking about it often. We frequently are asked about our adoption from many family and friends. They are a great support system and are excited for us to adopt.

Media Monday: Forever Fingerprints: An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children

Forever Fingerprints: An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children by Sherrie Eldridge

We give this book 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Here is a summary from EMK Press:
"For adopted children, learning about their beginnings and how they understand what that means to them is a process. It doesn’t happen at one point in time, but rather throughout the experiences of life. In this heartwarming children’s book, Forever Fingerprints uses a common occurrence–a relative’s pregnancy–as a springboard for discussions on birthparents, where adopted children are before they are born, and how that makes one little girl feel about it. Lucie is excited to feel a baby moving in her Aunt Grace’s tummy but it makes her think of how she understands her adoption story in a different way. The tools offered in this book help her to create a unique connection to her birthparents, allow how she is feeling to surface and to be discussed, and give Lucie’s parents the chance to reinforce their love for her, to empathize with her feelings and to honor her past."

We liked that this book talked about the feelings an adopted child might experience (that they did something wrong that made their birth parents not want to keep them). We didn't like that this adopted girl didn't know anything about her birth parents. The adoptive parents did a good job of trying to explain that her fingerprints were a connection to her birth parents. We liked how open they were to her feelings and to talking about her adoption. However, we are looking for an open adoption so that the child knows their birth parents and knows that the decision to place their child for adoption was made out of love. We plan on being very open with them and allowing them to discuss any feelings they have, as well as reinforcing how much we love them as well.

One Year

A year ago today, we celebrated that we were officially approved to adopt. Today, we celebrated again. We went to Red Robin as a family and enjoyed dinner and a Rookie Magic. As we ate, we reflected on the past year of being approved for adoption and things we have accomplished.

Here is a list of things related to adoption that we have done:
-Held an adoption kick-off open house
-Realized just how incredible open adoption is, and how we wouldn't want it any other way
-Play group coordinators for the CO chapter of Families Supporting Adoption (FSA)
-Accepted the opportunity to serve as the co-chairs for the CO chapter of FSA
-Accepted the opportunity to serve as the chairs for the CO chapter of FSA
-Participated in the Wheatridge Parade as FSA
-Carried our adoption pass along cards to our local high school counselors
-Organized the 2nd annual all day FSA Area Conference
-Updated our adoption blog regularly
-Helped to carry out an adoption fireside (and attended another one)
-Helped with an FSA Christmas party
-Communicated with two adoption scammers from "Cameroon"

Here is a list of fun things we did as a family:
-Explored the Black Canyon of the Gunnison while camping
-Went to Elitch Gardens as a family with Kylee's sister and her husband
-Enjoyed having almost all of Russ' family together in Denver for about a week
-Planned a birthday party to celebrate Caden turning 4
-Went camping with friends at our annual Labor Day campout
-Celebrated our 5 year anniversary
-Russ went to Wood Badge training while Caden and Kylee camped in the family room
-Kylee went to Girl's Camp with the youth of our area
-We held our 6th annual Halloween Mystery Dinner
-For Christmas, Russ' parents surprised us with a trip to Disneyworld
-We drove to UT to surprise Kylee's parents when they got off their mission to South Africa
-We entertained Kylee's parents that came to stay with us for a week
-Attended the BYU v. Air Force Football game
-Kylee donated 10 inches of her hair to Locks of Love
-Russ' brother started his 2 year mission for our church to Roseville, CA
-Had a very fun April Fool's Day

In the coming year, we are looking forward to:
-Running our first 5K as a family (in the FSA 5K)
-Going on our first family backpacking trip
-More contact with birth parents
-Open adoption and forming long-term relationships with birth parents and their families
-Going to Disney World with (almost) all of Russ' family
-Welcoming Russ' brother Mike back home from a 2 year mission for the church in the Dominican Republic
-Having a family reunion on the Oregon coast with all of Kylee's family
-Caden starting Kindergarten! We can't believe it!

National Infertility Week

This week is national infertility week. I have been thinking about what I needed to write about it. We have been dealing with infertility for almost 4 years. It has been a long road filled with heart breaks, devastation, long conversations, tears, etc. However, it has made our relationship so much stronger. We have had really special experiences in the midst of the hard times. Russ means the world to me and he has been such a huge support and strength to me, as well as trying his best to understand all the emotional side of infertility (especially for a woman).

Other than our relationship getting stronger and us growing closer together, the greatest blessing of our infertility is that it has led us to another amazing world - adoption! We really are so happy to be able to adopt and to swap prayers with birth parents. I recently read this blog post about a birth mom and her thoughts about adoption. I was so touched by her tender feelings about placement and about their open relationship. We LOVE open adoption and are excited for the way that it will help all those involved with the adoption: the birth parents, the child and the adoptive couple (us). I LOVE the song "Everything to Me" by Mark Schultz and it brings me to tears almost every time I watch it. I am amazed at the love and selflessness that birth parents have!

Although we are infertile, we are beyond excited for this next phase of growing our family!

Here is a great post on what to say (and what not to say) to someone that is infertile: http://www.latimes.com/health/la-he-my-turn-infertility-20110425,0,470341.story
We have heard our fair share of what not to say, but we are so grateful for amazing friends and family that are there to listen and just say "I'm sorry". They have helped so much!

Here's more info on National Infertility Week: http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/home-page.html