Our Adoption Story

Shortly after Russ and I got married, we found out we were pregnant. We were so excited! Nine months later, our baby boy, Caden, was born. We were thrilled! Little did we know just how much of a miracle he was at that time. When Caden was a little over a year old, we got pregnant again. Once again, we were so excited. Our excitement came crashing down as I started bleeding and cramping, because we realized it was a miscarriage. It was really devastating and sad, but we knew it was normal to have miscarriages and hoped that the next pregnancy would turn out better. I ended up having a few more miscarriages after that one, and we consulted with an infertility specialist. After lots of testing, the specialist gave us the option of doing in-vitro or to continue trying on our own. Neither option sounded right, so we took our time to talk about it and pray about it. For months, we had no definite direction so we waited.

One night, as I was reading a blessing that was given to me when I was younger, I felt strongly that we needed to adopt. We had considered adoption before, but until then we hadn’t felt strongly impressed to adopt. However, that night, there wasn’t a doubt in our minds that we were supposed to adopt our next child. Russ and I talked about it, prayed about it, fasted about it and then talked about it when we went to the LDS temple. We both felt it was the right thing to do. We called and got in touch with LDS Family Services. We signed up for the orientation meeting and got started on all the paperwork. We were new to the adoption world and loved learning all the different perspectives and, ultimately, the great love that is involved by all parties. We were overwhelmed with love for the birth mom that spoke on the panel at our training and we knew that we wanted an open adoption. A few months later, we were approved and we held a “kick off” event to spread the word to all of our friends and family that we were hoping to adopt. We sent out emails and were constantly praying that we would come in contact with the birth mom that was looking for our family.

A little over a year later, we heard that there was a couple that was interested in placing their child for adoption with our family and we were so excited! We were able to meet them at a Colorado Rockies baseball game that Families Supporting Adoption hosted for a birth parent appreciation day. We weren’t sitting close to them, but we wanted to get to know them better. Thankfully there was a rain delay at the game, so we were able to talk to them more as we all huddled under the stadium roofs for over an hour. They were easy to talk to and we laughed together while Caden was jumping in the puddles. We heard about a month later that they had selected us to raise their baby boy. Words can’t express the joy, gratitude and love we felt for them. We met up with them a number of times before he was born and we loved talking to them. Between going out to dinners and playing XBOX Kinect with them, we developed a good friendship and it was so easy to be around them. 

When Chase’s birth mom was admitted to the hospital, we were there with them and were able to stay overnight while she was in labor. We probably should’ve tried to go to bed while we could, but we enjoyed talking with them so much that we all stayed up until 2:30AM.  After a few hours of sleep on the waiting room floor, we were awakened at 6:30 AM because Chase’s birth mom was about to deliver.  As we waited outside the labor and delivery room, we embraced each other in the hall with tears of love when we heard little Chase cry for the first time. We were able to have many visitors including some of the birth parent’s family members as well as some of our own family members.

Six months later, we finalized our adoption in court and were touched by the questions that the attorney asked about this being a “permanent adoption”. We were so happy that Chase would always be in our family! We had the privilege of being sealed to Chase in the LDS Denver temple on April 21, and Caden was able to come in to witness this special and sacred ceremony. Tears poured down our cheeks as we knew that he would be a part of our family forever. It was an incredibly sacred and joyful day!

 We have an open adoption and we get together with Chase’s birth parents for visits whenever we can. We talk on the phone and are friends on Facebook. It is truly a blessing to have them still involved in his life. We love any chance we have to see them and always leave with a heart full of love, joy and gratitude for them. We will always be forever grateful for their courage to place him for adoption with our family. We love Chase’s birth parents!

Media Monday: Once Upon a Baby

We found out about this great new book, "Once Upon a Baby" by Shari Guess, from the National FSA blog. It sounded so great and we wanted to read it! We are in charge of putting together the swag bags for the upcoming area conference for our Colorado chapter of Families Supporting Adoption, so we immediately contacted the author to get some things for the bags and the giveaway. We were so excited when it came in the mail and we could read it!

Here is her summary: A heartwarming tale of LDS Adoption. Follow a child's journey from the pre-existence to his family's home on Earth. The divine guidance of the Savior, along with the love and prayers of both birth and adoptive parents are gently and lovingly portrayed in this tender story of the ultimate "Happily ever after".

Our thoughts: We love the way that this book talks about adoption from a religious perspective. We love how it talks about all the prayers from both the birth and adoptive parents. We love how positively it talks about "tummy mommies" and how much they love their child. It is a very sweet story and we especially love how it talks about the family going to the temple to be sealed. Great book!

You can find out more about the book here at her site: http://www.onceuponababybook.com/

Media Monday: The R House, failed placement

We love reading the R House blog and hearing of her adoption expertise. We had the opportunity of hosting her when she came out here for an FSA conference. She recently experienced a failed placement. She wrote a very touching post the day after they found out the birth mom was going to parent instead of placing her baby for adoption. You can read that post here. So tender, sweet and powerful. I love how supportive she is of the birth mother and her decision, even though it was hard for the R family.

Two weeks after that, she wrote another post about how to survive a failed adoption. I love her optimism through the heart break. You can read it here.

These two posts are so powerful and tear jerking. What an incredible family!

Media Monday: American Idol, Creighton Frakes

I meant to post this last week when he was still on American Idol, but that didn't happen. I love watching American Idol and was surprised to hear that one of the contestants was adopted. I loved hearing his story of how he got to meet his birth father about 3 years ago and that he found out that he got his love of music from his birth father. It was also his birth father that encouraged him to try out for American Idol. I loved hearing that they have an open relationship now and his birth father even came out to support him as he was on the show. Such a great story!

You can see some of his videos here.

Media Monday: Birth father's thoughts about adoption

We came across this touching post from a birth father on the Birthmothers for Adoption blog (see link on the right side of our blog). A birth father shares his experience with adoption and his thoughts about placing, about adoptive couples, etc. You can read it here.

We love that he says "we are heroes to our child's adoptive parents". We could not agree more! We disagree with him when he says that pre-placement contact with birth parents and adoptive couples is "tedious and gut-wrenching". We know our son's birth parents looked forward to spending time with us and it reassured them to know the choice they were making was right. We loved getting to know them as much as we could since they were (and are) such a big part of our family now. We respect his understanding and sincerity of what the adoptive couple goes through (with the adoption and with infertility). Our favorite part is where it says "We, as Birthfathers, are the answer to our child’s adoptive parent’s prayers.We are the bright light piercing through the darkness that has become their lives."

Nothing could be truer than that!!

Media Monday: Birth Mom's decision to place

I love reading The R House blog. It is so inspiring, real and wonderful! A few days ago, a guest blogger birth mom posted her story on her decision to place her son for adoption (with Mrs. R and her hubby). It was written so beautifully. You can read it here.

I love how the emotions are so real, raw and beautiful. I love how she realizes that when she thinks about parenting, it is all about her and what she wants. However, when she thinks about (and decides on) placing him for adoption, it is all about her son. There isn't a greater love than to do something that is hard for ourselves in order to help those we love. Birth parents should forever be honored and praised for their courage to place their children for adoption. We, personally, have two amazing birth parents that we will forever respect, honor and love!

Overcome!

(the pic above was at the Denver Temple when Chase was about 1.5 months old)

It has been a REALLY long time since I have posted something. Sorry about that! We have been loving baby Chase and having fun with Caden. Today was a special day. I was able to call the Denver LDS Temple and schedule a time to be sealed to Chase (for more info on LDS temples or the sealing ordinance, see this link). This means that he will always be a part of our family, both in this life and after death. As I was talking thedule it, I was overcome with a flood of different emotions.

1. Gratitude - We feel eternally grateful for two very special people that were willing to place Chase for adoption with our family. Tears are welling up in my eyes when I think about them and what they have done. They were a huge answer to our prayers. We love them. We love having an open adoption where they can see Chase grow and he can know just how much they love him too. Caden continues to say thanks to God for A & J in every prayer. Words can't fully express the gratitude we feel for A & J!

2. Love - We love baby Chase so much!! He is a true angel in our home and he has already added so much to our family. It is fun to watch Caden grow and change into his role of big brother. He is learning how to put his needs aside to help his brother first. He LOVES to make him smile and laugh and I can tell they have a very special relationship. Russ's and my hearts swell with love and joy as we hold baby Chase, see him smile, hear him laugh, watch him sleep, etc. We truly do love him and Caden more than anything and would do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING we could to help them.

3. Joy - For 4 years, we struggled with infertility and miscarriages and the heart ache that comes with that. We loved Caden and gave thanks for him every day in our prayers, but we knew there was somebody else that needed to come to our family. After 6 miscarriages and 2 years of getting approved to adopt and searching for the right opportunity, we were able to be with A & J when Chase was born. The first time we heard him cry, we held each other as tears of joy came to our eyes. Chase is the special baby that was supposed to come to our family, in the time that he came, by those loving birth parents. It isn't a coincidence, it is a miracle. He adds so much joy, love and peace to our home. Our hearts are so happy.

4. Excitement - When we were getting approved to adopt, we talked with Caden about the whole process. We also shared with him that after we adopted, our whole family (including Caden) would be able to enter the LDS temple to have the baby sealed to us. We have been looking forward to it for a long time and now it is almost here (a little over two months)! It will be such a special, sacred event!

No post can be complete without a picture, so here are some recent pics of Caden and Chase (big brother and little brother).

Media Monday: Flora's Family

Flora's Family by Annette Aubrey

We gave it 4.5 out of 5 stars

Here is a summary from Adoptive Families

Flora is a little girl, living happily with her family. One evening after bathtime, Flora notices that she doesn’t look much like her mom. Her long, flowing black hair doesn’t match her mother’s short, blonde bob. She doesn’t have her mom’s freckles either. Flora needs answers. So Mom and Dad tell her the story of how and why they adopted her.

Flora’s Family is a sweet and sensitively told, rhythmic tale. Author Annette Aubrey explores the common questions that young children have about their adoption. She goes one step further, reassuring Flora that her questions are welcome and will always be answered by her loving family. The book is illustrated by Patrice Barton, whose soft watercolors depict the contentment of Flora’s family life.

The final page of Flora’s Family offers suggestions that parents and teachers can use to answer questions and encourage meaningful discussion about adoption. For parents who want to begin a dialogue with their child, but are unsure of where to start, these talking points are a godsend.

Our Thoughts: We love how open they are in talking to their child about adoption. We especially like how both parents are involved in answering the questions the daughter has about being adopted. We love how it talks so positively about birth parents! We love that it is a family similar to ours, because they have biological children too. We love that it shows how the biological children love and adore their baby sister, because Caden is so excited to be a big brother. He ADORES Chase and they are such good buddies.

Media Monday: We Belong Together: A Book about Adoption and Families

We Belong Together: A Book about Adoption and Families by Todd Parr

We give it 4 out of 5 stars.

You can read it here on Google Books.

Here is a summary from Good Reads:
In a kid-friendly, accessible way, this book explores the ways that people can choose to come together to make a family. It's about sharing your home and sharing your heart to make a family that belongs together.

Our Thoughts: This book is a very simple description of adoption. It would be easy to read, especially to a younger child. It has bright pictures and only a few words per page, so it would keep their interest well. The use of different colors for kids shows racial adoption well. This book includes mothers and fathers, which we love.

Media Monday: Rock Center with Brian Williams

I love watching the news at night. Last Monday as I was watching Rock Center with Brian Williams, they did a story about a family that adopted two girls out of Haiti. I love how it shows the great love the family has for their girls, even before they had the girls living with them. . I love that the Mom says it was her goal to let her daughter (Naika) know that she was a member of the family forever. I love that it talks about how they felt it was the right place and right time to adopt their girls. They could tell the Lord was guiding them there. What a touching story:

http://rockcenter.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/12/10139203-on-assignment-visiting-haiti-two-years-after-earthquake

Also, they mentioned on the show that on their website they had a story about parents that placed their daughter in an orphanage to be adopted. I was very intrigued and had to check it out. Here is the link to the video:

http://video.msnbc.msn.com/rock-center/45936629#45933485

I love how it talks about how much they love their daughter and that they put her in the orphanage to place her for adoption because they wanted the best for her. They talked about how they made the decision with faith in God. It was obviously hard for them, but they did it so that their daughter wouldn't have to suffer like they currently are.

Media Monday (a day late): Mom reunites with biological child 77 years later

I was all set to write this entry yesterday and then our internet was having problems! Bummer! Russ came to the rescue when he got home at night, and now I am able to post this!

My friend from the Colorado chapter of Families Supporting Adoption found an incredible article about adoption and posted it on the blog. It is about a reunion of an adoptee and her birth mom. It is a very touching article. You can read it here: http://www.ksl.com/?nid=157&sid=18711325

Our thoughts: We love how it shows the great love that birth moms have for the babies that they place for adoption. Sometimes there is a misconception that birth moms do not love their babies and are just placing them for adoption to get on with their lives. NOTHING could be farther from the truth!! It is because birth moms love their babies so much that they are willing to suffer themselves to be able to give their babies more. We also loved the joy that their relationship brought to them. Open adoption really is about having more love and joy for all those involved. Very amazing article!

Media Monday: God Found us You

God Found us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren

We give it 4.5 out of 5 stars!

Here is a summary from Christianbook.com:
When a little fox cub climbs into bed, he asks his mom about how he came to live with her. As she tucks him in, she tells the miraculous story of his arrival---and assures him that he made her "the happiest mama in the world." A tenderly told tale that captures the blessings of adoption.

Our Thoughts: We love the tender, open, loving conversation they have about adoption. We also love that it talks about how they had to wait. We love that it is based on faith and the belief that "God found us you". It says "I trusted that God knew you, and knew me, and knew when we'd fit perfectly together". That is such a sweet and true statement! We love how Mama talks positively about the birth mom, saying how the birth mom must have prayed a lot. We love that it says that the adoptive parents prayed for the birth mom as well. In an adoption talk we watched from the Families Supporting Adoption International Conference, it said that adoptive families and birth families are swapping prayers. What a great blessing adoption is! We pray for the birth parents and they pray to find the right family for their child. God answers both the prayers and connects the two couples to each other. Once again, the only thing we would change is to add the father to the story.

Media Monday: Beautiful Heartbreak

A friend of mine sent me a link to a youtube video of a new song by Hillary Weeks called "Beautiful Hearbreak". It brought me to tears and I loved how it applied to infertility and adoption. Apparently Birthmothers 4 adoption had the same thought, only applying it to placing a child for adoption. The lyrics to this song are amazing, and her story is even more moving.



Here are her words: Placing my birth daughter for adoption in 2008 was the hardest thing i have ever had to do. It was heartbreaking. But with this heartbreak I also felt love, peace, and comfort knowing I was doing the right thing for my baby girl. My life has changed because of her. To learn more of my story and read others like it go to birthmothers4adoption.blogspot.com

For more of her story about making this video, check out this post: http://birthmothers4adoption.blogspot.com/2011/11/my-beautiful-heartbreak.html

I am so grateful that she took the time to make this video to show just how much it hurts to place a baby for adoption, but that it turns out to be a blessing and that it takes them (and adoptive couples) to places they would never see if it weren't for this challenge. LOVE IT!!

Media Monday: Families Supporting Adoption fireside

In honor of National Adoption Awareness month, Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) hosted a special fireside to celebrate adoption! We had three speakers, and a special musical number with a slide show. The whole night was great!!

(For a few highlights from last year's fireside, check out this post)

The first speaker was a friend of ours that was adopted when she was a baby. She shared a great quote that said something like "in the end, love was stronger than blood". She talked about how grateful she was to her birth mom (who she has never met and knows very little about) because she gave her a chance to be raised in the family she was supposed to be in. She also talked about when her parents adopted both of her younger sisters and how she "instantly" loved them so much. Love isn't limited to a blood relation, but for those that are willing to open their hearts, it can be shared with anyone. This is especially true for adoption.

The second speaker was a birth mom that placed her baby with our friends. She was so honest and open about the highs and lows of placing a baby for adoption. We loved that she was so full of love, not just for her baby, but also for the adoptive parents. She talked about how she knew when she saw the adoptive couple that they were the parents for her child. She was so selfless during labor, because she wanted to let the adoptive mom experience the birth of a child. She was an amazing, fun and loving woman!

The third speaker was our friend that adopted the baby placed by the second speaker. It was so awesome to hear both sides of the story. We were very touched by the love that the birth parents and adoptive couple had for each other, and we loved that they gave each other a huge hug after they spoke. She was so sincere about the struggles of infertility and coming to grips with adoption for their family. She was so emotional when she talked about her open relationship with the birth mom and her love for her boy.

The special musical number was "Something Perfect" by Michael McLean. Our friend did a great job singing! The lyrics are so awesome and very applicable to adoption. There was a slide show during the song with pics of adoptive couples in the area, birth parents, kids and activities from FSA.

The whole night was amazing! It was so great to celebrate adoption and the way that it blesses the lives of all those involved!

List of Thanks

As we sit here watching the Macy's day parade, smelling the delicious apple crisp fresh out of the oven, w can't help but think of all the things that I we are thankful for. There is a huge long list, but we will just post the top few.

1. Always at the top of the list is our loving Heavenly Father. He always listens to every prayer we offer and loves us with an immense love that we can't even fathom. He blesses us daily!

2. We can't help but be thankful for the two amazing people that have changed our lives forever, by giving us the chance to raise baby Chase. J and A, we give thanks every day for your selfless love and our friendship. You are like angels to us!!!

3. Chase. We could go on and on. He woke up cooing this morning after sleeping all night. What a dream. It made us smile and our hearts overflow with love to hear him cooing and to see him smiling. There is no greater blessing!

4. Caden. He is so much fun, is learning so much and is so helpful. He is the best big brother ever!! He loves Chase and always wants to be with him. He always talks to him, makes him smile, tells others about him, etc.

5. Russ. I get to take over now! Russ is such a patient, loving, forgiving, understanding, fun husband. He is an awesome husband that loves both of his boys. He always comes home and immediately takes Chase into his arms. Then, he plays sports with Caden. I couldn't ask for more! I love him so much!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Media Monday: Adoption Story Time

In honor of National Adoption Awareness month, Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) got a local library to host a special story time all about adoption. It was awesome!! The librarian read a few children's books about adoption, including A Mother for Choco (one of our faves, see our review here). A ton of friends from FSA were there and it was so fun to chat with all of them and to let the kids play together. I love the opportunity to let other people see just how amazing adoption is and to create some positive views of adoption!

FSA also hosted a fireside to celebrate adoption. More on that next Monday!

Media Monday: A Beautiful Disaster

I came across this wonderful blog post, which is a letter from a birth mom written to her daughter. It is so sincere, honest and beautiful. I just loved it!

Here is the link: http://missmandapassarelli.blogspot.com/2011/11/dear-hannah-letter-from-your-birth.html

Here are a few of our favorite quotes:
"I gave you a better life then I could have given you at the time. I gave you two wonderful parents and a big sister to take care of you. I gave you happiness and the opportunity to excel and follow your dreams."

"But I am so glad we have this beautiful thing together. Its like our two families have become one. A very unique and special one. It is so wonderful that your parents let this be so open and honest."

"So again Hannah, I LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOU. Please do not ever forget that. Placing you for adoption wasn't easy, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it was the best thing I ever did for you. You mean the world to me, beautiful."

Our Thoughts: This letter is so sweet! We love so much about it. We love that Amanda (the birth mom) is so honest that placing her daughter for adoption was the hardest thing, but also the best thing. We love that she has an open relationship with the adoptive couple. We love how it says that their two families have become one. Chase's birth parents (J and A) will forever be a part of our family because we share something so unique, precious and beautiful. This letter from the birth parent is a must read!

Media Monday: The Red Blanket

The Red Blanket by Eliza Thomas.

We gave it 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Here is a summary from Adoptive Families:
Children adopted anywhere will cuddle up to this story of a little girl, a loving single mom, and the cozy blanket that eased their transition from strangers to family.

The story of PanPan’s adoption is told from her mother’s perspective. As she explains her desire for a child, her sadness is palpable, but there’s no self-pity. Adoption can solve this problem, so Thomas gets down to work. When she receives her referral for PanPan, she buys all the usual baby gear plus a soft red blanket, perfect for cuddling. Into the suitcase it goes, and Thomas heads for China.

At the orphanage, deliriously happy with her new baby in her arms, Thomas notices that PanPan won’t meet her gaze. Building attachment will take time and effort, consistency, faith, and patience. In their hotel room, Thomas talks encouragingly about their new life together, but she recalls, “you weren’t listening. Instead, you looked around the room at the chair, the bed, the bureau….You looked everywhere but at me.”

After a day of rejection, Thomas remembers the red blanket tucked away in her suitcase and cuddles her daughter in it. At last, with PanPan snuggled in the warm folds of that soft blanket, the two begin to bond.

Our Thoughts: This book is about international adoption and does a good job of relating to what the mom and the child are feeling. There is no father present in the story, which is sad. We love the idea of having a special blanket for the child to hold and cherish.

Halloween Festivities

We LOVE Halloween! It is such a fun time of year! We have many traditions, parties and fun costumes to look forward to.

We went to a local garden center pumpkin patch, that had a hay maze, corn to play in and lots of fun games (and bounce houses!)
I love how Caden totally tackled this thing in the bounce house! Makes me so proud!
Our good friends invited us to a Halloween party with tractor rides, games, trick-or-treating, great food and great company! This year, Caden was Luigi and Chase was Toad.We love carving and decorating pumpkins! I think this was Caden's last year to paint his pumpkin. He painted the names of all the family on there.
(including Chase! What a sweet brother!)Russ was beyond excited to do a Calvin and Hobbes themed pumpkin this year!
We went trick-or-treating at Russ' work. Caden was so excited! Chase was the star of the day, because everyone LOVED seeing him!
We have an annual Mystery Dinner, but that will get its own post. Stay tuned for fun pics!

Our church has a fall festival every year with a chili cook-off, festival games and then a trunk-or-treat for the kids. Russ dressed up as Mario and I was Princess Peach.
I took the kids to the park on Halloween to get pics in their costumes. Too cute!

Media Monday: Max and the Adoption Day Party

Max and the Adoption Day Party by Adria F. Klein

We gave it 4 out of 5 stars.

You can read it on Google Books.

Here is a brief summary from Good Reads:
It is Maxs friend Josés adoption day party. There is cake and ice cream, games, and presents. What special present did Max bring?

Our Thoughts: This book also comes in Spanish! We have read it in both languages, since Caden is bi-lingual. We love that this is also an easy reader, that Caden can read all by himself! We LOVE the idea of an adoption day party! There is nothing better for a kid to celebrate with a party, and this helps his friends and family celebrate the miracle of adoption with him. We are definitely going to do this!